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I Feel Ashamed

May 5, 2010


This morning while getting ready for work it became alarmingly apparent to me that I needed to get my hair cut. I had no other after work plans so I figured “sure, why not?” As six o clock drew near I had a revelation… KFC is within walking distance of Astor Place where I get my hair cut. I declared right then and there (in my head) that I would try the Double Down tonight.

Fast forward… work is done, hair is cut, it’s go time. This isn’t really a review of the Double Down per se so much as it is a retelling of my KFC experience.

I walked into the KFC on 14th & 2nd and got inline (not online, learn to talk.) There was a couple of guys in front of me and one was talking non stop and would get visibly upset at the other guy if he tried to talk, even if he was answering a question asked by the first guy. Ahead of them was a guy who seemed completely oblivious to his surroundings. It was my bad luck that I got there behind these 3 guys because they took almost TEN FUCKING MINUTES to order! The oblivious guy finished first and damn near body checked me to yell at the cashier because he couldn’t understand his receipt. Once the manager took him aside I finally got to place my order (Double Down combo w/ potato wedges, drink, and I ordered a KFC Snacker for good measure.) I should mention that the reason the two guys took forever to order is because the one guy kept yelling at the other guy when he would say what he wanted… even though he kept asking him what he wanted. I was seriously expecting to show up in the background of some youtube video where I’ll find out the whole thing was staged (I find out later it’s not.) The other guy just had no clue what to order, so he would order something and then change his mind, I shit you not his receipt was almost 2 feet long with all the cancellations.

So now I stand and wait to get my “food” while I watch plenty of people who ordered after me get theirs. By the time I finally got mine, every table in the place was full, or too disgusting to even think about sitting at. I’m really starting to regret this decision. So I here I am, standing holding this tray in the middle of the place, waiting for a place to sit. Finally after about 5 minutes (yes, I’ve been here like 25 minutes at this point) a guy gets up and I get to sit down… right next to the two guys that were in front of me.

I flip open the box and this is what I find:

Does that look like this?

Yeah I didn’t think so either.

I bit into this thing, and it was like an explosion of grease… ok I’m getting sick recalling the experience.

It was fucking disgusting and the guys next to me were comparing the color of their fucked up thumbnails so I threw the shit out and left.

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2 comments

  1. inline, like the rollerblades? online, like aol?

    how about “in line”, or “on line”?


  2. I salute your courage! Where do we send flowers?



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