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Mike Quits Smoking – 2 Weeks Later

November 10, 2008

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Welp, it’s been 2 weeks since I started this endeavour.  Happy to say that last night at 10pm I am officially 1 week down with out a single smoke.  Sometimes it’s easy, sometimes it’s not so easy.  It’s been a pretty trying week but seriously, if I can make it through this week without smoking, I think I’m good.  I’d like to know when the random cravings will subside and leave me alone though.  I’ve heard from people in the past that they have quit for years, and they still have the contstant nagging to have one.

Wednesday was a pretty bad day though.  A disagreement with the girl spun out of control into a full blown argument.  I can’t even really say why.  I can’t even recall what it was about at this point.  Point of this is though, is that is the last day I took the Wellbutrin.  That stuff has made me into someone I’m not.  Crazy is the best word I can use to describe me on those pills.  I kept thinking that I’d even out over a week or so, but it didn’t.  As with this whole thing, some days were better than others.  The bad days… yeah, they were bad.  Moody, reclusive, depressed.  Hell, there was one night, sitting at the table eating dinner.  I looked at a tea light on the table and got immensly sad.  Yeah, and then I started crying for no reason.  Can’t tell you why, I don’t normally look at tea lights and get sad.  So yeah, the pills are gone.  The day after stopping was pretty bad also.  I’ve never felt so worthless and depressed in my life.  It was just really really bad.

But lets look at the glass half full for a minute here…  Since I’ve quit I’ve unloaded who knows how many gallons of nastiness from my body.  I can for the most part, breathe freely through my nose now.  I don’t cough throughout the night anymore.  Well, I still do a little, but that’s still just clearing stuff out.  I haven’t noticed so much anything tasting better or being able to smell anything better.  Well, the latter isn’t that true.  I can definately tell who’s a smoker now by being near them.  Did I smell like that when I was smoking?  Do I still smell like that?  These are the things where someone as a smoker would be able to quit very easily if they could actually experience these things.  Problem is, you need to quit to know.

I’ve found myself avoiding certain places to avoid the craving.  I don’t mean like not going to work, but going in through a different door to work.  It’s not so much trying to get away from places and things that I will recall enjoying smoking, but to avoid others doing it.  I try to not go in to work through the side door as that’s like the main smoking location.  If I do need to go through, I just hold my breath and try to power through.

Video games are a rough time though.  When I would be gaming, I would be smoking the most.  Have a bad round of COD4 and I’d be smoking like crazy to keep my cool.  So taking a couple head shots to my dome piece in COD4 or any game for that matter, instantly raises that urge and I’ve caught myself searching for them a couple times.  I generally back out to the lobby and take a quick breather to let the urge go away.  It’s getting better though.

It’s all just part of the crazy veil you have over the world as a smoker.  You don’t think you’re life is that much different than it was before you started smoking.  Just that you are smoking and that’s it.  Well yeah, it’s all different.  I can’t believe I’m the idiot that started smoking after I was 18.  But hey, such is life huh?  So yeah, I’ve got 1 solid week down.  To start, it’s a pretty good accomplishment.  In comparison to how ever many years I hope to continue living, it’s nothing.  So I’ll look at it as the triumph that it is rather than the grain of sand on a beach.

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