Murder Mitten Chillin’

November 20, 2007


Arrived back in Michigan today on about 2 hours of sleep. It was an interesting trip to get here. First, I wake up at 4:30, car to the airport comes at 5:30, it was a new Chrysler 300, cool, ridin in style. Guy was younger, maybe 21, asks when my flight is. Tell him 7:30, says he needs to take a detour on surface roads. Turns out he’s picking up his hoochie ass girlfriend because she’s late for work. And they fight the whole time to the airport, I swear I felt like I was an 8 year old in the back seat of his parents car as they are ready to get divorced.

Once I got to the airport, I flew through check in and security, so decided to get me some BK breakfast as I haven’t had it in years. Now the weird thing is, whenever I fly, it’s always at some ungodly hour in the morning, and the airport is pretty desolate, but today, it was packed, and the line for BK was like 30 people long. Whatever though, I’ve got plenty of time, so I make my way through the line in about 10 minutes, just as I’m about to walk up to order, some woman comes in out of no where and starts ordering. So here I am, on 2 hours of sleep after having been driven to the airport but some guy and his South Bronx style Jennifer Lopez wanna be girlfriend… not happy. So without thinking, I just blurt out, “Ex-Fucking-Scuse you?” she has the nerve to start bitching at me saying she only wants a coffee, I’m sure most of the 30 people behind me just wanted a coffee too. I didn’t want to get into anything so I just went to the next cashier and got my grease in a bag and ate.

Got on the plane and had my usual exit row aisle seat. The woman sitting right next to me was a total Bridezilla. She had a stack of about 20 books all wedding related and kept knocking them into me as she shuffled them. To make things worse, she’s not taking notes on what she likes, she’s dictating into a voice recorder. “Ruffles in book 17, page 213 are nice, compare to ruffles in book 4, page 33.” Shit like that over and over. Why can’t I ever get someone cool next to me? A hot chick maybe? Someone of similar interests? Or maybe, just maybe… no one at all? So I’m trying to catch an hour of sleep on the flight, and I constantly hear her talking into the voice recorder and she’s constantly bumping me with her catalogs. I finally just stared at her for a few moments. She stares back at me as if to say, “How dare you?!” So I just blurted out, “I don’t mean to be rude, but I’m on 2 fucking hours of sleep, quit hitting me with your library.” She looked totally stunned as I’m guessing she’s never been spoken to like this in her life. I just put my head back and cranked up my headphones. The bumps from her were few and far between after that.

The rest of the day is the usual fair for coming back home. Ride back to the Shores with my Mom, catching up on things. Took a nap for a few hours, did some grocery shopping and had pizza with my bro, his kids, and my sis. Just got back from hanging out with my buddy Gabe for an hour or so. It’s great when we see each other again, we don’t really chat much between my visits but it’s just our style. Anytime we’re in the same state, it’s like we never missed a beat. So we just caught up on things, I talked about life in NYC, he told me about law school and the firm he’s working at. Good times. Welp, that’s about all I have for now. I’ve got my 10 year high school reunion Friday night, that should be interesting. I’ve got hopes and aspirations for the events of that evening, we’ll see how it goes.


One comment

  1. I’m gonna try and use Twitter to live blog the reunion. Ha!

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