Misadventures in Funcoland: Hot Sauce Trippin’

September 27, 2010

Store: Ann Arbor

Notable Gaming Release: I dunno

It’s been awhile since I’ve posted one of these, but this story jumped into my mind grapes the other day so I figured I would jot it down. This one isn’t really related to any game in particular, but more about the ecosystem that exists in a store like Funcoland.

I had been working at the Ann Arbor store for a couple years at this point. Well, off and on, it would be my second year at this store while working back at other Funcoland’s over the summer. Anywho, the store next to our store was this cool little wine and gift shop called The Blue Herron.

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I Feel Ashamed

May 5, 2010

This morning while getting ready for work it became alarmingly apparent to me that I needed to get my hair cut. I had no other after work plans so I figured “sure, why not?” As six o clock drew near I had a revelation… KFC is within walking distance of Astor Place where I get my hair cut. I declared right then and there (in my head) that I would try the Double Down tonight.

Fast forward… work is done, hair is cut, it’s go time. This isn’t really a review of the Double Down per se so much as it is a retelling of my KFC experience.

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IM Convo

January 6, 2010

[1:12 AM] Not Me: steal someones wifi for it lol

[1:12 AM] Me: still not full speed man

[1:12 AM] Me: I got an N setup, can only get like 1.3mb down

[1:13 AM] Me: plugged in with a 50′ cable I get 2.2mb

[1:13 AM] Not Me: what provider?

[1:13 AM] Me: not to mention when you keep wifi pinged the card overheats and disconnects

[1:13 AM] Me: lol what does it matter? it’s still the same provider when I’m on wifi or plugged in

[1:13 AM] Me: cuz it’s my router

[1:13 AM] Not Me: yeah but thats slow as shit, switch it to G and you’ll do better

[1:13 AM] Me: um dude

[1:14 AM] Me: N is faster than G

[1:14 AM] Not Me: yeah i know, but wtf

[1:17 AM] Me: lol sorry man, but that shit is just crackin me up

[1:17 AM] Not Me: i would try G to see though

[1:17 AM] Not Me: cause i try even the most unlikely things to work

[1:17 AM] Me: lol dude, G is like 5 years old

[1:17 AM Not Me: i know

[1:17 AM] Not Me: i use it and get max speeds

[1:17 AM] Me: they aren’t gonna spend years making N only to have it come out slower


The Street? (no) The Avenue? (still not right) The ROAD!

October 9, 2009

the road

Here’s a little back story on how I got to this book.  My friend Chris and I were talking about movies coming up we’d like to see and he mentioned seeing a trailer for “The Road.”  You can view the trailer HERE.  The trailer looks pretty damn good, I can say that I’m genuinely excited to see it.  So probably a few months go by from when I saw the trailer until I decided to pick up the book to read.  I had just finished reading Hunter S. Thompson’s “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas” which was an amazing book, highly recommend it, and I decided to pick up “The Road” afterwards in anticipation of the movie.  I will tell you now that this is one of the most poorly written books I have ever read in my life.  I mean really, I don’t know how this guy has written so many award winning books.  Actually I’m assuming they win awards I don’t know for sure, at least two of his books have been made into movies, No Country For Old Men being the other one that I’m aware of.  The writing style of this book is something akin to a 3rd grader dumping his thoughts out onto a piece of paper for a book report, and then going back over it with a thesaurus and changing every possible word they can to something that sounds intelligent and will likely not be known by a person of above average intelligence (which I consider myself to be.)  My favorite thing to say about this book when people ask me about is that “The author should be charged with reckless use of a thesaurus in an attempt to sound intelligent and magnanimous.”

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Misadventures in Funcoland: Sexism in Clayland

October 5, 2009


Store: Ann Arbor

Notable Gaming Release:  Not really sure…

Most of my stories have dealt with new release type stuff, and while there are great stories to be told, what brought some of the most interesting folk into Funcoland were those who were looking for used games for older systems.  The kind of people that would come in looking for these older games pretty much ran the gamut.  There would be the collectors who were looking to complete their collections… obviously.  We had this guy that would come in, I’m not sure of his real name at this point but we’ll just say NESCollector.  He was working towards purchasing every single NES game made, like EVERY one.  He would come in with a list of games he was still looking for and eventually we got to the point where we would just let him come behind the counter to look through what we had since it was quicker and we were pretty sure the guy wouldn’t rip us off.  He eventually got hired part time.  NESCollector was a big time ICP fan, like a straight up jugallo, or how ever you spell it.  I found out a few years after leaving Funcoland that he became a born again christian.  Like cleaned up and sold his entire collection.

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Thoughts of a High Octane Past…

September 25, 2009

Abandoned Car_DSC0136 - 2007-10-17

Growing up in the burbs of Detroit, cars are in my blood.  Living in NYC is almost like living on another planet at times since I don’t drive everywhere, even after almost 5 years here.  I was walking home from the train today and saw a couple women talking and one was complaining about her car.  Saying how it sucks and she wants a better car and she hoped it would just die.  This ricocheted around in my head for a little bit as most things do and I got to thinking… she may hate her car, but at some point in it’s life, someone loved it immensely.  When you think about it, every car was loved at some point, even if it’s current owner doesn’t.  Look up at that rusting heap at the top of this post.

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Misadventures in Funcoland: Wait… Your Name is What? / Abandoned Merch

September 16, 2009


Store: Clinton Twp.

Notable Gaming Release: Driver (PS1)

This story takes place in the summer of either ’98 or ’99.  Summer is usually the slowest time for gaming as you probably already know.  So it was not uncommon to be working alone during the day at any of the stores, even though the Clinton Twp. store was generally one of the busier ones.

I was working alone… obviously… and was playing around with Driver for the Playstation.  It was a great game, kinda beat GTA to the 3D sandbox style of game play that GTA 3 would eventually take to the masses, even if it was a bit crippled, but Driver was an awesome game.  The story was advanced through this repeated FMV between levels where the driver would pick up a phone and you’d see him from behind and the frame would freeze.  You’d see the guy standing there listening to someone give him his mission over the phone, it was a pretty ingenious way to save resources since it looked like your guy was just standing there listening.

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